This is an incredibly hard letter to write and it’s even more difficult to post. Some may wonder why I’d choose to post something so personal in such a public forum, but you knew from the get go that being with me made everything fair game in regards to blog fodder. Besides, I’m hoping that throwing this all out there will help me to heal.
Now this letter has been a long time coming, I’ve thought about it for a while but kept talking myself out of it. What can I say, I’m weak. And you’re irresistible sometimes.
The past few weeks though…things have gotten bad.
You had always been so wonderful in the past. When I was having a bad day or a boring day or, hell, even just an average day, thinking of you was enough to put a smile on my face.
Being with you was all I could think about most days. And then I’d see you. At first you would be so sweet and I would instantly feel better. But after a while, things started to get weird. I’m not sure if you felt that way, but I’m sure you knew I wasn’t completely happy.
After a while even looking at you would cause a tightness in my chest. Now you weren’t just affecting me mentally but physically as well.
I thought the awkwardness would pass but then things just got worse. Eventually I could barely say hello before you would start being weird. I just couldn’t understand. What we had was so amazing and so beautiful before. I had talked you up so much to everyone I knew and now here you were, making a fool of me. I thought what we had was forever.
I thought maybe if I limited the time we spent together things could improve. That maybe we could get back what we once had. Absence makes the heart grow fonder?
Well in this case, it didn’t.
I still felt as bad as before around you. You barely seemed to notice.
Eventually I decided that no matter how much I love you, I need to love me more. And being with you is not fair to me. There will always be a place for you in my heart, but from now on, there’s no place for you in my life.
It pains me to say this. But I have to. Goodbye, forever.