Two years ago I lived in an apartment in north Oakland with my best friend Elyse and my friend/cousin Talia. It was a few days before Christmas and both Elyse and Talia had gone home. I, sadly, had to work for a few more days so I was at the apartment by myself.
It was about 9AM and I was getting ready to leave for work, running late, as usual. Our kitchen and living room were open, with a small bar in between them. I was standing on the kitchen side rifling through my bag when I heard a sort of scraping sound coming from the living room. As I was home alone, I assumed it was coming from outside the living room window, when all of the sudden I heard a *THUMP* from the direction of the fireplace. My first true thought was “Santa?” shortly followed by “Holy shit! A bird!”
We had a fireplace in the living room but were informed when we moved in that it was non-functioning. We therefore assumed it was closed off, but boy were we wrong. Also wrong? The assumption that a bird fell into my living room. I was quickly corrected when a SQUIRREL zipped past me.
“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.” These were my thoughts as well as the squirrels as he flew around our tiny 3 bedroom apartment. Being home alone and about to be late for work, I had no idea what to do. Naturally, I picked up the phone to call my mom.
“What? A squirrel?”
“A squirrel fell down the chimney and now it’s running around the apartment and I don’t know what to do and I can’t leave it in here and I’m going to be late for work, what do I do!!!!!!”
At this point my mom starts laughing which made me start laughing, because, c’mon! Who gets a squirrel down the chimney!
She told me to call my landlord and “Don’t try to catch it!”
Uh, yea right. Squirrels may look cute from far away but when one is panicking and running around your apartment, it’s kind of a little scary.
The phone call to my landlord went pretty much the same way as the one to my mom, with the lady on the other end laughing at me. She said she’d send someone over.
At this point, I’m starting to panic a little because I’m going to be late for work. I had a bit of an issue getting to work on time, I was working at the Science Center and it was 2 busses to get me there. Missing one bus threw everything off and I think they were a bit sick of my “I missed the bus”/”The bus never came” excuses. I could only imagine calling work “Uh…yea…I’m going to be late…there’s a squirrel in my apartment.” “Oh like we haven’t heard THAT one before.”
Eventually the poor little squirrel stopped running and was standing on my desk, having a face off with me. His poor little heart was beating so fast I could see it from 5 feet away.
It finally dawned on me that maybe if I opened the apartment door and the building door, he could use his squirrelly senses and get the picture and get out of there.
So I did and he did and after a quick call to both my mom and the landlord to tell them how genius I am, I was on my way. And I even made it to work on time. But made a mental note to make use of the story the next time I was running seriously late.