This happened almost 3 years ago but it is one of my favorite stories ever.
I used to work at a little grocery store in my hometown. It was aptly called The Tiny Store and was a good time. Very laid back. Canonsburg is a relatively small town and with any small town, it is full of some fine people.
June 1, 2006, 4pm. I was working with this girl Brandy. There was a couple comprised of two shady characters that had been trying to pull some stuff for a few weeks that would come in all the time. They would frequently try to short change me and the male half was arrested 2 weeks prior for trying to pay for cigarettes with a thousand dollar bill. (He ran out with the cigarettes after handing over the fake bill.)
So anyways, the female half of the shady couple comes in to cash her boyfriends check. I know that her boyfriend is in jail and forever banned, but I wasn’t really sure about her status and kind of didn’t care. We make sure her check clears, it was only 27$ and Brandy goes to cash it whilst I ring up another customer.
Now I drew a picture to give you a better feel for what happened next. After cashing her check, I was ringing up this kids debit thing and so my back was turned for a whole 24 seconds.
(Picture is huge but w/e, doors are to the bottom right)
Oh another bit of info, underneath that drawer was a cupboard, in the cupboard was a box with 200$ worth of change. When we needed change for our register, we’d take the change out of the box, and put the money for it in an envelope in the drawer. Now pretty much anyone could have known it was there, we were never sneaky about it. But in my five years, there was never a problem. There could be close to 200$ in the envelope, all dependent upon when it was last settled.
I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this.
So Brandy was over on the other side, I’m at the debit thing, and when I turn back around, Brandy is already back at my counter, and the drawer is open a little bit. I figured Brandy just did something. And then I realized that didn’t make any sense. So the lady walks to the right around the counters and is asking Brandy for cigarettes.
“Brandy, did you take that envelope out of there?”
And the lady is out the door.
“That lady just took it!” I spun around and my brother was in line (at this point I had no idea how much money was in there)
“ROSS, GO GET MIKE!” (Mike = boss)
“GET HIM, NOW!”
Ross runs back to the deli, “Uh, Mike, Katrina needs you and I think it’s important.”
Mike runs up and I tell him “That lady just took the envelope!” He goes out the door after her.
And oh this isn’t even the best part.
So he’s gone for like 15 minutes, I’m shaking from the adreneline rush. Comes back with the cops, Shady Lady in the backseat. I count the change, she only took 37$. But the best part is what transpired after Mike got out the door.
So we know the Shady Couple lives in these apartments close to the store, so when Mike ran out the door, he went that way. On his way back he sees an envelope crammed into the hedge. OUR envelope because Ryan had written “Money for my pimp” on it. (See, best job ever.)
So Mike knows she went this way. He sees a guy and asks him if he saw the lady. He said he did and that she was shoving something in her underwear. Delighted, I’m sure, Mike continues toward her apartment.
(She was MESSED up, otherwise she totally could have been gone.)
He finally spots her in the middle of the street and yells for her to stop and give him the money back or the cops will be knocking on her door.
“I don’t got any money, I don’t got any!” she shrieks waving her arms all around.
I don’t know what Mike said next but it prompted her to lift up her dress, flashing all of the world and drop her underwear.
And then Mike saw the money.
Sticking out…of exactly where you think it was.
So, uh, wanna know the price for a body cavity search? Apparently 37$.